Tradition

The family I grew up in is a family without much tradition in the proper sense of the word.

tra·di·tion

However, since becoming a parent, I have spent a great deal of time thinking about what traditions I would like to start with my own family.  To me, tradition works in families that work, and looking back on it, I think that for a majority of my child and young adult-hood our family did not function very effectively.  Though I could not articulate that reality at the time, I can see how the cracks in our family foundation led me to the desire compunction to build my own experiences, and in essence distance myself  from the people who happened to love me most in all the world.

Just as I was getting to the age that I was realizing that family was indeed a missing component of my life, and just as I was starting to recognize my role in trying to put some of it back together, my father passed away unexpectedly from a brain aneurysm which led my remaining familial-nucleus into a downward spiral from which we are only recently started to emerge. Due to the invisible yet apparent fracturing of our family over those years and then the indescribable loss of our anchor, my father, we avoided and certainly ignored tradition and subsequently cohesiveness along the way.

I am committed to bringing that back.

Although I am committed to creating traditions for my family to share, I also belive that the best traditions come about organically due in part to where you live, what you celebrate, and how you show your love.  This is what makes tradition so special.  No other family or set of friends or loved ones could experience YOUR traditions or THAT tradition the same way because those things are unique and ever so personal.

Therefore:  Here are three traditions that have already begun (or that I would like to begin) for my family and my daughter.

1) I would like to start the tradition that we go and visit my father’s grave every time that we are visiting my mother.  My little LadyBug and any other siblings that she is lucky enough to have will never know their grandfather and he was a wonderful man.  I want to make this a tradition so that I carve out time to tell her stories about him, about the things that he loved, about what made him tick, and about what traits I see in her that reflect him back to me.

I wonder who you’ll look like
Will your hair fall down and curl
Will you be a mama’s boy
Or daddy’s little girl
Will you be a sad reminder
Of what’s been lost along the way
Maybe you can help me find her
In the things you do and say

~Marc Cohn – The Things We Handed Down

2) I would like to build a tradition around brunch.  SP and I love brunch and we often host friends and family on the weekends.  We started having people over for brunch after LadyBug was born because it gave people a chance to visit with her when she was awake.  Papa and I usually cook together, narrating to LadyBug all the while,  and whether we have quiche or pancakes or omelettes it is a happy and relaxing time that allows us to shake off the stress of the week that has passed, and provide us with space and time to discuss the week that is upcoming.  It allows us to celebrate the small things, but more importantly, it allows us to be together for a quiet and meaningful period of time without the hustle and bustle of the rest of our lives.

3) I would like to start sometype of tradition around giving back. In the hectic world that we all live in, I want LadyBug to truly understand how lucky she is to have all that she does.  I want to help her understand what it is like to be empathetic and compassionate in words and in actions, and I want to teach her that giving to others is always better than receiving. I do not know what growing that tradition will look like, and I look forward to working with her and Papa to figure it out, but if there is one tradition that I know I will be proud to leave behind it is the one that teaches my daughter to always work to leave this world a little better than we found it.

Simply. I believe that traditions help us feel a little more grounded in this world, and a little more linked to the people that we love, and I look forward to growing and cultivating many traditions for my family for years to come.

This has been part of the NaBloPoMo June 2013 BlogHer for June 2013. Today’s prompt was Tell Us About A Tradition Passed Through Your Family.  Go to NaBloPoMo June 2013 to check out some of the other great bloggers joining in this month.